7:07 pm i'm gonna start writing normal entires instead of vents lol. i did an extra shift at co-op since i missed yesterday. i have a day off from school tmr but i might still go to co-op but i'm not 100% sure. i kinda just wanna stay home all day. i'm home alone rn my mom went to have a sleepover with some lady, so i have the house all to myself until tmr morning. i only have one other class this semester which is philosophy! i got my midterm report card yesterday i got a 88 in co-op and 78 in philosophy which is good but i expected higher grades. today was a chill day we had to write down 10 things we know to be true and 10 things we know to be false and explain why. i ended up chatting with my friend mel most of the time lol. i really enjoy her company. i'm glad i have this website i hope to whoever is reading this is happy. i wonder if anyone reads these. leave me a message if u do :3 my hands hurt ugh i wanna go to the park even tho it's pitch black out. and very cold. november has been such a strange month for me and i think everyone.
7:33 pm fuck fuck fuck fuck. i wanna seriously kill myself i can't keep fucking up. he's gonna leave me if i keep doing this god fuck fuck fuck. he said i can't kill myself because i live for him now. he knows that i'm not mentally stable. he also thinks i have bpd. which makes sense i've been thinking the same thing all year. but i have to be 18 to get diagnosed. my birthday is in like 3 ish months i think. i hate disappointing people but i keep doing it and idk how to stop. i try my best but it happens anyway.