i am so fucking paranoid holy shit. he promised he isnt mad but i just cannot let go of this feeling i just fucking cant. but i cant keep asking him the same thing over and over because it is ruining everything. i would do anything to get rid of whatever fucking thing is messing up my brain. it ruins my life. ok time to do distract myself and make myself feel better yippee......
i know i don't make it easier for him. i am gonna become better.