i was gonna write on the first of the month but i had very bad period cramps and was just not doing well mentally. my paranoia got to it's highest yesterday, which made him mad. instead of blowing up on him about this i am going to distract myself. i know these thoughts aren't true i just have to keep reminding myself that. i hate how this is affecting him as well. i am going to get better and not let this paranoia control me. i am stronger than these thoughts. i started watching twin peaks and i love it, i am on episode 2 right now. i like to take breaks when watching tv i'm not sure why. i wish i could binge but i don't have the attention span for that. something to work on i guess. i am planning on going to the library today to work on chemistry stuff. i could just do it on this laptop but i don't like it, i get too distracted. i hope the wifi is working at school tmr. i also wanna get chai.